Offenders

I have often found myself asking God the same question Peter had asked. “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?” And Christ’s answer, “seventy times seven” would sound in my mind and offer me no comfort. More recently I have been asking, “does the Lord truly expect me to endure the abuse of others indefinitely? And because I cannot endure it with a loving heart, am I committing a sin by wanting to cut those offenders out of my life so that I can have a greater spiritual peace?”

During a recent Sunday school lesson we were invited to look up a scripture in Matthew 18. I read past the verse assigned and I noticed some verses that seemed to address my question. I continued reading the next day in my home when I received my answer.

“At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?

And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,

And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Here, Christ answers the ultimate question of who will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. He answers, only those who are converted (changed, transformed into something new) and become as a little child (humble, loving, trusting and willing to submit to the will of the Father) can enter His Kingdom.

“But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!”

While those who have experienced this change or conversion must be afflicted, he gives a warning of severe punishment to those who offend these “children”, and make it difficult for them to live in this fallen world.

He continues by telling His children…

“Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.

And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.”

As I read this verse, its meaning became clear to me by personal revelation from the Spirit. I had never understood it’s meaning correctly before. I know understand that the hand, foot and eye are the people in our lives; our family and friends. If they are offending me, I must cut them off. For as this scriptures says, “it is better to enter (eternal) life maimed”, having lost those offending family members and friends, then not enter at all and “be cast into everlasting fire”, because of the resentment and bitterness they have caused to enter into my heart.

I knew this was the answer to my prayers. I understood that after giving so much forgiveness, love and patience to my abusers, if they continued their actions and my heart began to corrupt, then it was time for me to cut off those relationships and love them from a distance. A pure heart is what I need stay close to God and obtain eternal life, and that is more important to me and God than keeping those people who offend in my life.

After this realization, I noticed that there was a footnote for this particular verse, a Joseph Smith Translation. It read “And a man’s hand is his friend, and his foot also; and a man’s eye, are they of his own household.” It was exactly what the Spirit had taught me just moments before. In addition to the answer to my question, I also received another confirmation that Joseph Smith truly was a prophet of God and received divine revelation.

Also in this chapter, the Lord gives specific instruction on what we should do before “cutting someone off.”

“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.”

It is not an easy thing to do. But in my experience when I have tested and obeyed these directions by privately confronting certain people who were offending me, it has always weeded out those who truly care about me from those who don’t. I have often been completely taken aback by those who become “my brother” (or sister) and those who fail to hear me.

The following verse says:

“Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven”

I don’t believe these two verses were placed next to each other by coincidence. Often when the scriptures mention “binding” the Lord is referring to the binding together of hearts. I feel that even though we are sealed to our families in saving Temple ordinances, we can bind and release our hearts to whomever we chose. And because of this scripture I believe those bindings and releasings done on earth are also honored in heaven. After confronting those who are offending, and seeing whether they are a ”brother” or a “publican”, we can then choose to either bind them or loose them.

 “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”

My understanding of this scripture has changed and it no longer torments me. This commandment was given to Peter (and all of us), so that those of us who are trying to be meek and humble and follow Christ, will not sour our hearts with resentment and bitterness and thereby keep ourselves from receiving the reward of eternal life. The Lord understands that we are human and that there is only so much abuse we can take. To those who have reached that point, after doing all we can do, He says “cut them off”, It’s not worth losing you.

Must I always forgive? Yes. But if for nothing else, I do it for my own peace and salvation. Am I required to keep the offender in my life? No. “Cut them off. And cast them from thee.”

As someone who has cut off both friends and family because of continuous abuse and offenses, it often feels as though I’ve been maimed. But in their place Christ has given me a peace in my heart, the companionship of the Spirit and a promise; that “every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.” (Matthew 19:29)
 

C.S. Lewis

“The command be ye perfect is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible. He [Christ] is going to make us into creatures that can obey that command. He said (in the Bible) that we were “gods” and He is going to make good His words. If we let Him—for we can prevent Him, if we choose—He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly His own boundless power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very painful; but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said.”- C.S. Lewis

C. S. Lewis once said about the divinity of Christ: “I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: [that is,] ‘I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God.’ That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic—on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg—or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”

C. S. Lewis, in his book Mere Christianity, describes our relationship with God in a special way that can help us to appreciate how submitting ourselves to his will is the only way that spiritual growth can occur: “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace."

 C. S. Lewis captured the spirit of  surrender: “Christ says, ‘Give me All. I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. … Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked—the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.’”

"An individual Christian may see fit to give up all sorts of things for special reasons - marriage, or meat, or beer, or cinema; but the moment he starts saying the things are bad in themselves, or looking down his nose at other people who do use them, he has taken the wrong turning." -C.S. Lewis

“Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.” -C.S. Lewis

"The perfect church service would be one we were almost unaware of.Our attention would have been on God." - C.S. Lewis

"You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." - C.S. Lewis

 

"This is the First and Great Commandment"

President Uchtdorf isn't technically "a voice from the dust", but I loved what he said so much I had to post it. He explains how religious culture can dilute divine truths and how we can live the Gospel in it's purity.

During his ministry Christ was asked to name the greatest commandment. He did not hesitate when he answered, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

This presents a problem for some, because there are so many “shoulds” and “should nots” that merely keeping track of them can be a challenge. Sometimes, well-meaning amplifications of divine principles—many coming from uninspired sources—complicate matters further, diluting the purity of divine truth.  One person’s good idea—something that may work for him or her—takes root and becomes an expectation. And gradually, eternal principles can get lost within the labyrinth of “good ideas.”

This was one of the Savior’s criticisms of the religious “experts” of His day, whom He chastised for attending to the hundreds of minor details of the law while neglecting the weightier matters.

How clearly the Savior spoke when He said that every other commandment hangs upon the principle of love.  If we do not neglect the great laws—if we truly learn to love our Heavenly Father and our fellowman with all our heart, soul, and mind—everything else will fall into place. -Dieter F. Uchtdorf, General Authority

Spiritual Self Reliance

A few weeks ago our home teachers gave a lesson on “plucking the weeds from our lives”, or removing those things in our life that are draining our time and energy and keeping our spirit from growing. They challenged my family to remove one "weed" from our life for one week, and replace it with a faith building "seed". 

As I thought about what weed I would remove I realized that without meaning to, I had gotten out of the habit of reading my scriptures privately and praying privately in the morning and at night. Our mornings were just so busy and once the kids were in bed at night Luke and I were both exhausted and couldn’t wait to relax in front of our favorite TV show... where I would usually fall asleep.  We were still reading scriptures each night as a family, doing family home evening regularly, and saying all the routine family prayers and blessing all our meals, but I realized that while I had been trying to feed my kids spiritually, my spirit was starving.   

So for one week I committed every morning to literally roll out of bed onto my knees, say a prayer and read the scriptures. Luke and I also committed to forgo our favorite TV show in the evenings until we had read the scriptures and prayed as a couple. I could not have imagined the change that would come over me after only a few days of this new routine. I felt the Spirit enter my heart and our home. It was truly as if the windows of heaven open to me. I felt a peace I had longed for and learned things from the scriptures only the Spirit could have taught. 

As a result of bringing the Spirit into my life I was able to share it with my family. Our family scripture study and family home evening went from being a routine and a duty to being a spiritually uplifting experience for our entire family. Because I was becoming more spiritually self-reliant I was able to spiritually feed my children and those around me.  

One cannot share what they don’t posses. This applies just as much to the spiritual things of life as the temporal. Silvia Allred gave a talk The Essence of True Discipleship this past conference in which she said, “Self-reliance is the ability to provide the spiritual and temporal necessities of life for self and family. As we increase our own level of self-reliance, we increase our ability to help and serve others the way the Savior did.” I understand now, that in order for us to share the Gospel with our family and those around us, we must have a living testimony of it within ourselves. We cannot share what we do not have.

D&C 11: 21 “Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men”

A New View of Charity

The Bible dictionary says that Charity is "the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is never used to denote alms or deeds of benevolence, although it may be a prompting motive". In Moroni 10:21 it says "And except ye have charity ye can in nowise be saved in the kingdom of God." Charity is vital to our salvation.

For a long time I thought of Charity as a character quality that I must develop or I couldn’t be saved. Obtaining charity became an overwhelming and seemingly impossible task. For years I would try to make myself feel this “perfect love”, and I would fail miserably every time. It was, to say the least, discouraging. I began searching for an understanding of how I can obtain charity. As I searched, pondered and prayed my understanding of Charity began to change and the overwhelming burden creating Charity was taken for me. I no longer defined Charity as a noble quality that I must create within myself, but rather as Christ’s pure love, it is His Love and only He can bestow on me. I realized that to receive it I needed to draw near to him. When we are filled with Charity and experience the joy that it brings, it will change us. It's that mighty change the scriptures say in necessary to obtain eternal life. It will take place in our hearts and our spirits, and His love will be free to flow through us and we will have a great desire to share it with those we love.

I understand Charity much in the way that I understand the Priesthood. The Priesthood is God’s Power which flows through righteous priesthood holders to bless those in need. Similarly Charity is Christ’s Love which flows through all who draw near to Him to bless those in need. Not until we've obtained Charity from it's source, can we share Charity.

Weakness and Sacrifice

I have a paralyzing fear of public speaking. Except it's not just limited to public speaking. It's also a fear of speaking in almost any social situation. This fear has controlled a large part of my life.

A week ago I was asked to give a talk in Sacrament meeting. It had been 8 years since my last talk and before that another 8 years. After telling the member of  the bishopric that I fear public speaking more than death, he still held me to the call to speak. I started crying before we hung up.

I did not think I would be capable of making the sacrifice God was asking of me. I felt so broken by the trials of the past year that I just did not think I could stand before a congregation and deliver a worthwhile message. I received a Priesthood blessing from Luke that prepared me to make the decision of whether or not I would attempt to speak. I wasn't prepared to commit to saying yes to giving a talk, but I decided I wasn't going to say no yet either. I fasted on the 3rd day and had so much anxiety and fear I got a migraine and made myself sick. On the 4th day I went to the Temple and by the 5th I decided I would answer the call to speak.

I began to prepare my talk. I relied heavily on the Spirit to help me write my talk and to get me through the next couple days. Friday night my talk was complete and I spent Saturday practicing it. I asked Luke for another Priesthood blessing to make me able to stand and deliver my talk. 

I knew what was written was good, but I was so afraid. I was So afraid. Since the time I had decided to give my talk I had been praying for God to "make me not afraid" and as I sat on the stand waiting for my time to speak I was still repeating that prayer. When my thinking about the fear I was experiencing changed. I began thinking, "Yes, I'm afraid. I'm very, very afraid. But isn't my fear my sacrifice to God? If I wasn't afraid, giving this talk wouldn't be a sacrifice. I'm going to accept my fear and I'm going to do what the Lord asked me to do anyway." I decided to do it for Him, because I want to be the kind of servant who will submit to His will even when it's hard. I want to trust in Him that much. Asking God to take away my fear and make giving my talk easy would be comparable to me asking God to make me rich so that paying tithing was easy. Where is the sacrifice in that? So while sitting on the stand I decided to offer my fear as a sacrifice to my Savior and Heavenly Father. I felt better after I decided to do that.

The talk went very well. I was nervous, and there where a couple of moments where I felt dizzy and was afraid I was going to faint, but I held on to the podium and I read through it. Luke said I did amazing. I received many compliments and some requests for copies of my talk. It felt good but I will not take credit for how well it went. I cant. I was a sobbing curled up ball of fear when I got the call to speak. I wasn't capable of doing that well without the Lord's help. Through this experience I gained a new understanding of the scripture,

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." (Ether 12:27)

Man doesn't posses the ability to turn their weaknesses into strengths. He gives us weaknesses that we absolutely cannot overcome on our own so that we will humble ourselves and plead and petition Him for help. That is when He comes and takes over and fills us with His grace and His power, making us a fine tools in His hands. It is His grace and power that takes over and makes those weak things strong. After doing all that we can do and by calling on His name, He uses what we lack as an opportunity to interceded and accomplish something beyond the abilities of man. I suppose that is the very definition of Grace and how it is used in regard to the Atonement to save us. This is another example of how  All Things Testify of Christ.

Love and Service (My Talk)

I was given the assignment to speak on Love and Service, and as I began to think of people in my life who emulate those two qualities, I thought of my dad’s best friend Ed. Ed was in my Ward growing up and he was a great example to me of love and service. I’d like to share just one example of why.

The Elders Quorum President in our ward told Ed about a family on the “do not contact” list. He asked Ed to go find out who the Wilcox family was, and if they wanted to be visited or to have their names taken off the roles of the church.  He finally found their house, but no one ever answered the door.  One night he caught the kids at home... but still no parents.  The next night he ordered some take-out and took it to the kids.  He did this a few times until one night he caught Yolanda (the wife), who was not a member and she thanked him for the dinners.  Over time, he finally met Dave (the husband) by showing up one day while he was out working in his yard.  Dave said that he did not want Home Teachers. Ed said that was fine and asked if he could help Dave with his yard work.  Ed continued to visit the family and after many months Ed and Dave became good friends.  Their families started to do things socially, went on vacation together, did BBQ’s together etc.  After years of being friends, the Wilcox family began coming to church activities and soon after Yolanda started the missionary discussions. Yolanda was baptized, then their 2 daughters, and then Dave. They became fully active in the church, strong members of the ward with callings and eventually they were all sealed in the Temple.

Ed wrote this about the experience, “The secret to success; is true, sincere love and service to the Lord and to the family, with no thought for yourself or statistics or any other fake reason to visit them.  Never give up!”

Being in that Ward and watching what took place with that family as a result of one man’s consistent selfless service and genuine love, really without any expectation of ever getting them to come to church, greatly influenced me. He wasn’t trying to fulfill a duty or get an A+ on some nonexistent home teaching report card, He simply decided to serve and love that family, and by doing just that, a miracle took place that will forever bless that family and generations to come. Ed taught me how to serve and love others and he changed my understanding of the purpose of home and visiting teaching.  

In the Book of Mormon the account of Ammon and King Lamoni starts with service. Ammon, a Nephite, was taken before a Lamanite King who delighted in killing Nephites. Ammon told the King that his only desire was to dwell among them, perhaps permanently, and to serve them. There was no preaching, no judging, no condemning. Just an offer of service. The King agreed and sent Ammon to watch over his flocks, where he performed a heroic act in protecting them from the Kings enemies, and all without seeking recognition or reward. It was his selfless act of service and display of love, with no thought for his own life, that softened the heart of a blood thirsty King, and prepared him to receive the Spirit and partake of the plan of redemption, also allowing his entire household to be saved.

Ammon’s love and service continued to change lives as he met up with Lamoni’s father, who was The King over all the Lamanites. And despite This Kings attempt to slay Ammon and Lamoni, Ammon’s only concern was for The King’s eternal welfare and for Lamoni’s happiness. It was the great love that Ammon had for the King’s son that softened his heart. And soon after The King, his household and thousands of other Lamanites were converted to Christ and saved in the Kingdom of God. And it all began with one man’s unfailing love and service.

There is a divine power in love. Selfless love and service changes hearts and changes lives by gently tapping and then cracking that stony outer shell that surrounds our hearts, thereby allowing the Spirit to enter and create that mighty change within us.

Recently I was sitting in a church meeting listening to a lesson on service, and as I was listening to all the sweet examples of service that go on in other neighborhoods, I’m ashamed to admit, I asked God, “When have I ever been served?” Just as I asked that, a sister raised her hand (and forgive me if I don’t remember all the details) but she began telling a story of a teenage boy she had taught in Seminary, who made it almost impossible for her to teach her lessons. He was disruptive and disrespectful and made fulfilling her calling extremely difficult. However, she didn’t give up. She continued to pray for ways to serve and love this boy in her class. Many years passed and this boy, who was now a grown man, contacted her. She was very surprised by this. He wanted to let her know that he had served a mission, was married in the temple, was a father and a fully active member of the Church. He told her that she was his favorite teacher and that she had made the biggest impact on his life, and he wanted to thank her.

As this sister was telling her story I realized it was God’s answer to my ungrateful question, “When have I ever been served?” This sister was telling my story. As a youth, I was every teacher’s worst nightmare. It was as if my life’s mission was to be as difficult as I possibly could. None of these teachers could have known that I behaved that way because at the time I was suffering through some very painful experiences. I know that there were many prayers offered by my teachers and church leaders, pleading to Heavenly Father to help them love me. Throughout those years, there were some truly extraordinary teachers who showed me unconditional love and continued to serve me despite my constant defiance; those teachers would not give up on me. Their examples helped me begin to understand, that the Savior loves me. This prompted me draw nearer to him, to acquire a testimony of Christ and His Gospel, and to eventually be married in the Temple and sealed to my family. Now my family and I continue to receive the blessing of the Gospel and I am forever grateful for the love, service and long suffering of those true Disciples of Christ in my Sunday school classes. I know that I am not the only person who has had their life changed because of seemingly simple acts of love and service. My story is just one of many.

Sharing Christ’s Gospel is not merely educating someone of the doctrine, but rather sharing with others that overwhelming love that Christ unfailingly gives to us. Christ-like love and service are how we can introduce people to Him and bring to them His Gospel. Love is the core message of our Father’s Plan of Happiness. Silvia Allread, The First Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency said, “When love becomes the guiding principle in our care for others, our service to them becomes the gospel in action. It is pure religion.”

When asked to name the greatest commandment, Christ did not hesitate. ““Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

President Uchtdorf said referring to Christ’s answer, “How clearly the Savior spoke when He said that every other commandment hangs upon the principle of love…  If we truly learn to love our Heavenly Father and our fellowman with all our heart, soul, and mind—everything else will fall into place. When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as Disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden.”

“Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships... Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope.”

Recently I read a book where the main character is a man who is suffering in his marriage and is at the point where he feels there is little hope that his marriage will survive. Throughout this story the spirit of the man's deceased grandfather visits him and mentors him. During one of his visits the grandfather says to his grandson, “It’ not your marriage that needs saving, it’s your love.”

Like the couple in this book and many other couples, a while back Luke and I were experiencing a difficult time in our marriage and I just could not foresee a positive change in our future. One night Luke told me that he would find some way to serve me every day. He took a piece of paper and with red marker scribbled the words “Have I Rubbed Sheri’s Feet Today?” and he taped it on the wall by my side of the bed. He told me that every night he was going to serve me by rubbing my feet. That seemingly small act of service has since nurtured a love in our marriage that I didn’t even know could exist. His selfless service, with no expectations or thought for himself, has changed us both. It has been almost 4 years and he has never missed a day, and when he goes out of town he makes up for lost days by rubbing my feet twice. That paper sign now sits framed on my bed stand, not as a reminder for a foot rub, but as a reminder to us both that in order for us to cultivate the kind of love we want to have for one another, we must serve each other on a daily basis. My children and I are so blessed to have such an amazing example of love and service within our home, a husband and a father who truly understands the virtue of service. He is my greatest example of Love and Service on this earth.

Sylvia Allread said, “We must love one another and serve one another. The pure love of Christ is expressed as we give selfless service. (Serving) one another is a sanctifying experience which exalts the receiver and humbles the giver. It helps us become true Disciples of Christ.”

The virtue I feel I’ve actually been describing in this talk is Charity. If the expectation to feel charity for everyone seems daunting, you are not alone. I confess that until recently, I did not enjoy lessons on Charity. I had thought of Charity as a character quality that I must develop in order to be saved, and for me developing charity was an overwhelming and impossible charge. For years I would try to make myself feel this “perfect love” for everyone, and I would fail miserably every time. It was, to say the least, discouraging. I began praying and searching for an understanding of how I could obtain charity. As I searched, pondered and prayed my understanding of Charity began to change and the overwhelming burden of creating Charity was taken from me. While reading the definition of Charity, I began to see the words a little differently. Instead of reading "Charity is The Pure Love of Christ", I read it as "Charity is Christ’s Pure Love". And I began to understand that Charity is Christ’s Love. I cannot create it. The only way for me to obtain it is by and though Him. If we draw close unto Him, he administers Charity to us, and then can channel it through us to others.

President Uchtdorf said, “’God is Love,’ the closer we approach Him, the more profoundly we experience love, not only from him but for our fellow man.”

So when the natural imperfect woman in me is incapable of the love that I need for my fellow man, he invites me to “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive.”

When the angel in Nephi’s vision asked, “Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw?” Nephi answered, “Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things… Yea, and the most joyous to the soul.”

Charity is God’s Love, and is that fruit that is most sweet. It is the greatest of all the gifts of God. As we will draw near unto Christ and partake of His love, just as Lehi exclaimed, our souls will be filled with exceedingly great joy. And Like Lehi, once we have tasted that joy we will then have the desire to bring others unto Christ, so that they too may be filled. 

I testify that these things are true.In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Slow of Speech

I suffer from social anxiety. I cant talk to people in the halls at church, I don't answer my phone, I cant write thank you notes, I cant raise my hand in class, I panic if someone asks me to introduce myself, I have Luke call my own family and friends and I crumble and hyperventilate at the thought of speaking in front of a large group of people.

After two days of relentless phone calls from a member of the Bishopric I finally picked up the phone and received a call to speak in church. I started crying even before he hung up. I cried all that night. I knelt in my closest and wept because of my weakness as a servant of the Lord. I couldn't get my anxiety attacks under control. I received a priesthood blessing from my husband and fasted, yet still I would begin to panic and hyperventilate every time I would imagine myself on the stand.

I know many Doctors would advise that I be medicated, but I refuse to be dependent on mood altering drugs. Long ago I decided to live with my disability and serve God in the ways that I am able. But I don't believe that my Father in Heaven wants me to suffer with this disability any longer. I believe he wants more for me, he wants me to be free from this paralyzing fear that controls my life. But it's going to take a huge leap of faith on my part. I know that I can not give this talk without his help. I am so afraid. Wherever I've read the story of Enoch or Moses and how when the Lord came to them and asked that they stand before their people and prophesy, I could always empathize with their fear and their response of, Why me, I am hated and slow of speech...

"And he heard a voice from heaven, saying: Enoch, my son, prophesy unto this people...

And when Enoch had heard these words, he bowed himself to the earth, before the Lord, and spake before the Lord, saying: Why is it that I have found favor in thy sight, and am but a lad, and all the people hate me; for I am slow of speech; wherefore am I thy servant?

And the Lord said unto Enoch: Go forth and do as I have commanded thee, and no man shall pierce thee. Open thy mouth, and it shall be filled, and I will give thee utterance, for all flesh is in my hands, and I will do as seemeth me good. Say unto this people: Choose ye this day, to serve the Lord God who made you. Behold my Spirit is upon you... and thou shalt abide in me, and I in you; therefore walk with me." (Moses 6)


I hope and pray and will exercise faith that the Lords promise to Enoch will also be given to me and that I can abide in Him and He will sustain me through this assignment.

"All of us experience those wrenching, defining, difficult decisions that move us to a higher level of spirituality. . .They are the Gethsemanes of our lives that bring with them great pain and anguish. . . As the scales of worldiness are taken from our eyes, we see more clearly who we are and what our responsibilities are concerning our divine destiny." James E. Faust

Becoming His Masterpiece

I think that so much of the pain I experience when going through a trial is a result from my unwillingness to submit to my Fathers will. An unwillingness to let go of something or someone I have an attachment to, something or someone that I love more than him. It's a result of my inability to truly trust in the Lord completely and a reluctance to release my desire to control and say, “Thy will be done.”

About a year ago I began to ponder what it is I want to accomplish with my life. What is my purpose? What do I want the result of my mortal experience to be? I decided that what I want is to be as close to the Savior as I can by the end of my life. I want the Master to take me in His hands and mold and shape me into what He wants me to be. As I said my prayers one night I let my Heavenly Father know of my desire and I asked him to take away anything that was holding me back from being what he wants me to be. I released control of my life and began to put my faith and trust in him. I almost wanted to take back the words as I said them, in fear of what would happen. But I didn’t. It was what I wanted and I knew that whatever came, it would be for the welfare of my soul.

Almost immediately in the days following Luke’s business came to a screeching halt. He said it was like one week was booked full and the next there was just nothing scheduled for months. We had to close the practice, which resulted in numerous ongoing legal and financial repercussions. We had to prepare to file bankruptcy. This meant we had to sell the cars. I had always told Luke was “We can lose the house, the business, anything. Just please don’t take away my car.” I lived in my car. Losing it was hard for me. My pregnancy with Ender was difficult. I was very sick most of the time and poor health was something I suffered with even after his delivery. After the summer I lost my parents and my family. They betrayed me in a way that I would be putting my family in danger if they came back into my life. I lost my reputation among my kids’ school administrators, the county law enforcement, my bishop, my extended family and my in-laws because of the betrayal of my family and the mental illness of my mother. I lost my brother. Despite all my efforts to keep him out, he has spent the last 8 months in either a mental institution or prison and is now homeless. And just recently I lost my best friend of 16 years as she decided that persecuting our beliefs as members of the LDS Church was more important to her than being our friend.

I felt like I lost just about everything and everyone outside of my own home and family, and for being blessed to keep those I am truly grateful. While the sting of my losses was great, I knew that God was answering my prayer and I trusted in him. There was a comfort in knowing that I was willingly submitting to His will and that these losses were necessary for my spiritual growth.

About a year after the initial prayer that set off this avalanche of trails, and as my wounds began to heal and the paralyzing pain of loss began to dull, I recommitted myself to daily scripture study, private prayer morning and night and made a new effort to deny myself of all unclean things and ungodliness. My prayers became more sincere. As I read the scriptures and attended the Temple I began to see and understand many things I had never before realized. I found great "hidden treasures" and the Spirit began teaching me, opening my eyes, my mind and my understanding. During my new found "quiet time" which came as a result of turning off the radio and TV, I began to receive personal revelation. I was guided to books and learned things about God and the Atonement that I had never understood before. I began to write what I was learning and as I did I learned more. The more I learned by the Spirit, the more I understood God's great love and mercy towards me and all his children. I began to love Him more and had a greater desire to obey and willingly serve him the best I could. I felt a closeness to the Spirit and a love from God that I have never before experienced. There was a new found peace in my life despite the storms around me. I started to recognize great blessings that were resulting from our previous losses. I began to be compelled to share His gospel with the people I know and love as instructed by the Spirit. I began to feel my spirit grow.

I know I’m still so far from what my Heavenly Father wants me to become and that I fall short of that goal every day. But I keep trying and keep asking for help, and with His help I am getting closer. Every morning I ask God to replace my stony heart with a broken one and a contrite spirit. I need his help every day, every hour. I can do nothing without him. I feel like with each trial and each loss, a chunk of access clay is being removed by the Master’s hand in order to reveal His work, His Masterpiece. And that is what I want to become.

"When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power." ~Ezra Taft Benson~

Sent to Bind Up the Broken Hearts

Recently I’ve repeatedly heard or read the words “Christ was sent to bind up the broken hearts”. I’m beginning to learn that when I hear the same thing repeated more than twice, it is God trying to teach me something and I need to stop and listen for what that is. I learned through the Spirit that these scriptures are not just referring to the healing of the brokenhearted. But that Christ was sent to bind them together, to seal those with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, to him, as the children of the House of Israel. And so I am trying to pray every day to replace my stony heart with a broken one so that I too can be sealed as His.

Personal Revelation

Last April during General Conference, Finding Strength in Challenging Times, by Elder Allan F. Packer stood out to me. During which he said, “Having the capacity to receive personal inspiration will be necessary in the coming days.” The urgent call to receive personal revelation worried me, because I wasn’t sure I knew how. This talk is an actual step by step guide on how to do it, and I’m learning.

In one of the most beautiful chapters in the Book of Mormon, Nephi says, “O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm. Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.” (2 Nephi 4:34-35)

If we will not take it upon ourselves to obtain personal revelation, we do it to our own demise. Obtaining knowledge through personal revelation is the rock upon which our testimony needs to be built. Building a testimony that rests only on the words and actions of man, albeit a righteous prophet even, is putting you trust in the “arm of flesh.” Our testimonies sit on a sandy foundation if that is what we are doing.

“When the winds blow and the rains pour, they blow and pour on all. Those who have built their foundations on bedrock rather than sand survive the storms. There is a way to build on bedrock by developing a deep personal conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ and knowing how to receive inspiration. We must know—and know that we know. We must stand spiritually and temporally independent of all worldly creatures. This begins by understanding that God the Father is the Father of our spirits and that He loves us, that Jesus Christ is our Redeemer and Savior, and that the Holy Ghost can communicate with our minds and our hearts. This is how we receive inspiration. We need to learn how to recognize and apply these promptings."

Elder Dallin H. Oaks defined a testimony this way: “A testimony of the gospel is a personal witness borne to our souls by the Holy Ghost that certain facts of eternal significance are true and that we know them to be true.”

This is something each person must experience for himself.

"'This witness is not limited to the leaders but is available to all men, women, youth, and even little children. Having the capacity to receive personal inspiration will be necessary in the coming days." - Elder Allan F. Packer

When Our Faith is Challenged

Recently a friend contacted me and expressed her deep concern for a family member who was struggling with her testimony. The family member’s husband had recently left the Church after reading some anti-mormon literature and was now trying to convince his young wife to do the same. My friend asked  me to help in any way I could. I wrote her this letter:

Years ago I had a very close friend who suddenly began bombarding me with anti-Mormon literature. At the time I thought it was an opportunity for me to convert my friend. I now know that it was an opportunity for God to convert me. After years of discussing with this friend, questioning my beliefs and searching for answers, I’d like to share with you what I’ve learned.

God restored the keys of the priesthood through Joseph Smith. This was a unique responsibility and role for him alone. For this reason he is unlike any other modern day Prophet. The Restoration restored the gift of the Holy Ghost, which enables us to receive inspiration and Revelation for ourselves. God’s children have not always had this gift. They didn’t have it before the Restoration and they needed more direction and revelation through a prophet. We now have a “direct line” to God and are able to receive inspiration directly from Him.

Once that gift was restored through Joseph Smith, and people began to receive it ( and it took time to have that gift bestowed on the entire membership, and for them to learn how to use it), the people became able and expected to tap into that power of the Holy Ghost and receive learning and revelation from the Spirit directly. It is a greater personal responsibility and it takes a lot of work.

We don’t need some kind of formula or for someone to tell us when a Prophet is speaking by revelation and when he isn’t. We can find out for ourselves what is and isn’t inspiration, directly from God by using the Gift of the Holy Ghost. Our prophets today are “watchmen in the tower”. They receive warnings and counsel from the Lord for the specific time that we live in. We are free to act on or disregard their counsel.

We are not asked to follow blindly without question. We are encouraged and even counseled to use our minds and that Gift of the Holy Ghost to find out for ourselves if “these things are true” (D&C 9:8). Asking questions is a wonderful thing. It broadens our understanding when we look to God, not man, for the answers.

My advice is, when learning about the history of the church, try not to judge, but try to understand the people; their level of understanding, their circumstances, their needs and the world around them. They were all very different from what we experience today. There was only one perfect man who ever walked on this earth.

Don’t hold it against them if the Prophets and the members of Christ’s church are not perfect. Who are we to judge? They struggle in mortality just like all of us. Even prophets of old, like Jonah, were merely men answering a call to serve. The Prophet Joseph Smith said, “I never told you I was perfect; but there is no error in the revelations which I have taught.”

As Latter Day Saints, do not have a monopoly on truth. There are many different sources, people, religions and books that have truth, and we can learn from them. What we do have, that no other church has, is the Priesthood and all the ordinances and blessings that come from it. I believe it was Joseph Smith jr. who said “the Church is to gather in all Truth no matter where it is to be found.” The invite is to all, "come join with us and bring your truths and share them with us, and we will share our truths with you.” I believe this is an admonishment from the Prophet to have an open heart and mind, and to not be closed to truth found in other sources. Do not be misled into thinking that because truth can be found in other places that this is not Christ’s Church restored. I learned a lot from my anti-Mormon friend about Christ that I hadn’t understood before, and I am so appreciative to her. I took it as a blessing from God, not as a condemnation of our Church.

The opposition you are experiencing is a blessing from your Heavenly Father. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but I assure you it is. He desires something greater for you, a greater knowledge and understanding of his Gospel. And he will see you through this journey, and give you the knowledge you desire if you will ask for his help. Your faith and obedience has brought you to this point, and while it has been a comfortable place for a time, it’s no longer enough and it is now time to grow and gain knowledge. Much like in the preexistence we came to a point where we could not progress any further and needed to embark on this risky, difficult mortal journey in order to grow and gain knowledge. But we have not been left to struggle through this experience without help. You have been given the Light of Christ and the Gift of the Holy Ghost to guide you. Use them. Call on God in prayer morning and night, study your scriptures and you will find the answers you are looking for.

Pray for guidance while you search for answers. While you are researching, if something doesn’t feel right or fills your spirit with darkness, pull back. Listen to those feelings. If it is true, then it’s of God, and it will fill your spirit with light. Wait to feel that light of truth in your spirit and then follow it. Trust those prompting. The path to find your answer will open up to you, and then the answer will come to you. Usually in a way you do not expect. Be patient and trust in God’s timing. Write what you are learning. Pray to not be blinded by the “craftiness of men”, and use the scriptures in your research.

Your desire for more understanding is a good thing. It was a life changing journey for me and I know it can be for you as well. It will not be easy, just as Lehi’s and the Jaredite’s journey across the great sea was not easy, full of storms, waves and great beasts who would have set them off course. But just as the Lord gave Lehi the Liahona and the Jaredites the two pure stones full of light in their vessels, which provided light and guidance on their journeys, He has also given you the Light of Christ and The Holy Ghost within your “vessel” to guide you. Use them in the same way Lehi and the Jaredites were directed to, by continually calling upon the Lord for direction and help.

Quotes by James L. Ferrell in The Peacegiver

"Being mistreated in the most important condition of mortality, for eternity itself depends on how we view those who mistreat us."
 
"He showed them how everything about his life and death was revealed in detail in the scriptures at a level that would survive the loss of plain and precious things- not only through direct prophecy but also indirectly through types, shadows, metaphors and allegories."
 

Manna

I have a tendency to think, "I was really spiritual a year ago, a few months ago, a couple weeks ago. That should last me for a while. I can slack off on my scripture reading and prayers. I don't need to do it today." And while I'm telling myself that I can feel my spirit dying.

In Sunday School this week we were discussing the story of the Israelites and the Manna and it finally became clear to me what principle Christ was trying to teach by having the manna that they collected the day before become rotten and infested with bugs and worms, thereby forcing them to collect it every day (other than the Sabbath).  I have to feed my spirit every day with the Bread of Life, the Everlasting Water, the Words of Christ. I cannot store up spiritual "food", and by not partaking of those things daily my spirit will starve and eventually die. I cannot store my "manna".

Hidden Treasures

I was explaining to the kids in the car that the stories in the scriptures are "so cool" because if you pray to have the Holy Ghost teach you, they have special hidden meanings in them that teach us about Christ and the Gospel. Raegan was quiet for a minute.

"I have one. I've been reading in the Bible where Abraham sends a servant to bring back a righteous wife for Issac. The servant is like the Holy Ghost and if we listen he will bring us back to Jesus. And Abraham is like Heavenly Father."

"Wow Raegan! I think you're right! I've never even thought of that."

"I just asked the Holy Ghost to teach me the hidden message and it just came into my head."

"That's Amazing. That's exactly how the Holy Ghost works. I'm so proud that you've already learned how to do that."

Releif Society

While sharing a visiting teaching message, I leaned that the Restoration truly wasn't complete until the women were apart of the organization of the Church. It's something I've always heard and read, but didn't really believe until I read 1 Corinthians 11:11,

"Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord."

This is true in all things. We especially learn how crucial the unity of men and women are in the Temple. Nothing is complete or whole without that partnership. It only makes sense that neither was the Restoration of Christ's Church.

I believe that Heavenly Father had always intended for the women to be a part of His organization, but was waiting for the women to ask. When they finally did petition the Lord to be an organized arm of the Church in an effor to help with the building of the Nauvoo Temple, the Prophet Joseph Smith said,

"Tell the sisters their offering is accepted of the Lord, and he has something better for them. I will organize the women under the priesthood after the pattern of the priesthood.”

A short time later, the Prophet told the newly organized Relief Society: “I now turn the key to you in the name of God, and this Society shall rejoice, and knowledge and intelligence shall flow down from this time." 

This confirmed what I already felt was true, that no divine knowledge, intelligence or personal revelation is withheld from the women of the church because they are not ordained to the Priesthood.

A Voice From the Dust

I was awake late last night and unable to sleep I decided to read my scriptures. I read Alma 60:11,


"Behold, could ye suppose that ye could sit upon your thrones, and because of the exceeding goodness of God ye could do nothing and he would deliver you? Behold, if ye have supposed this ye have supposed in vain."


This scripture was the Lord speaking directly to me. I had been doing exactly that. I am in the midst of some heavy trials. I have not been reading my scriptures, attending the Temple regularly or praying. I was supposing that because of the exceeding goodness of God I could do nothing and the Lord would deliver us.

Daniel and the Lion's Den

Tonight while driving home from Luke's parent's home we watched Daniel and the Lion's Den.

Raegan asked, "Why couldn't the King just feed the lions a lot so they wouldn't eat Daniel?"

I answered, "Because that would be cheating and he had to keep the law. Even a King has to keep the laws."

This got me thinking about Heavenly Father and how even He is bound by laws. I began thinking about Daniel and how he is like us. He broke a law and according to the law, he must be cast into the lion's den. Even the King was bound by this law and could not change it though he loved Daniel greatly. We, like Daniel, have also broken the law and are fallen, and there are consequences. Daniel called upon The God of Israel, who is Christ the Lord. An angel of God intervened and saved Daniel from the horrible death and destruction that awaited him in the lion's den. If we call upon Christ and repent and try to keep the commandments, He too will intervene and save us from the terrible spiritual death that would be our fate were it not for His sacrifice which satisfied the law. And just like Daniel, when we are made clean by the Atonement of Christ, we will then return to the King, our Father in Heaven.

Infinite Attention

In a Stake Women's Conference I attended, Jennifer Gardiner told a story of a woman named Rosa who was dying of cancer. Jennifer's father, a member of the Seventy, came to visit and asked if there was anyone he could bless. She took him to Rosa and as he blessed her Jennifer waited to hear the words "You will be healed". Those words never came. But in the blessing he promised Rosa that she would have a sure knowledge that she was a daughter of God. After the blessing, as the visitors began to converse, Rosa laid back on her pillow and closed her eyes. She later asked if someone would bring her some pictures of Christ. She picked one of the pictures and said "Yes, this one. This is the one I want. This is what He looks like." She was asked how she knew this. She said it was because she had seen Him. In a vision she was able to see Him clearly and what He looked like. In the vision, He was talking to a little child. He was so focused on the child that Rosa could not break His attention. She realized then that the child He was talking to was her.

Somehow I had always envisioned Christ paying attention to us the way I pay attention to my children, which is to be honest, more like a juggling act. I can only focus on one at a time. I have to try and juggle around which child receives my time and attention, and usually who ever has the more urgent need gets the more immediate attention. After hearing this story I thought, "Is it possible that Christ is giving me His full attention? Could He be so close and so intensely concentrated on me and my well being?" This is something I had never considered before. I had assumed that when my problems weren't quite so urgent, He sort of juggled me around and focused on someone else who needed His help more, while still trying to "keep an eye on me". I never thought that He could be that vested or interested in me, or that He could have the time or ability to be. But I think He is. As I am writing this, it feels like He is. He is watching over me, teaching me, blessing me, chastising me, forgiving me and strengthening me. He is with me and His influence is through out me all of the time. I think my mortal mind and perception of time had always stifled this concept. I don't understand how He can watch over me that intently, but I know His works are great and that He can do all things.

With this new perspective it makes it easier for me to turn to Him, to talk to Him and to try and hear what it is He's so focused on trying to say to me. And to do so without worrying that I'm intruding on someone else's time who needs Him more. It was so arrogant of me to think that I don't continually need His help just as much as everyone else. If I am at a cooling point, and my trials don't seem to be as severe as before, then it is a good time for me to be growing by gaining understanding and knowledge, as well as being His hands by helping those around me who are suffering.

CS. Lewis put it this way: “[God] has infinite attention to spare for each one of us. He does not have to deal with us in the mass. You are as much alone with Him as if you were the only being He had ever created. When Christ died, He died for you individually just as much as if you had been the only man [or woman] in the world.”

The Prodigal Son

I wanted to write down a couple of things I noticed while I was pondering the parable of the Prodigal Son. (Luke 15:10-32)

1. The son willingly left the presence of the Father. After he left, the Father could no longer help his son or have any influence in his life. The son, by his own choice, was on his own.

We have total and complete free agency. We are free to either turn away from our Father in Heaven, or to love and serve Him. It is always by our own choice if we leave his presence. He can not follow us when we reject Him and follow the adversary, nor can He continue to bless and protect us. We will always be free to choose our own path in life and in Eternity. He will never force us to stay with Him or to obey. He values, respects and defends free agency.

2. The trials and hardships that the son later experienced were not punishments from the Father. When the famine came to the land, the servants of the Father were protected and cared for while the son had no such comforts. Because of his own choices, he was alone to fend for himself.

The famine in this parable was not sent by the Father to punish the son. It was something that came about naturally, just as trials and tribulations will naturally and unavoidably come about in our lives. Trails are not necessarily sent by our Father in Heaven. They are circumstantial occurrences that can afflict us during our Earthly experience. The difference between the situation of the son and the situation of the Father's servants, is that those who remained in the Father's presence and served him were sustained and cared for throughout the famine. The storms of trails and tribulation come to all, and our Heavenly Father is able sustain those who stay close to Him.
This also parallels the story of Christ, who peacefully slept as a great storm came and mountains of waves were about to swallow the ship. The storm came on it's own. However Christ was able to calm the winds and command the tumultuous sea to be still and have peace. (St Mark 4:36-41) And so, are our trials. They will come, not by the hand of our God, but He has the power to speak peace to our souls and calm our storms. He will protect his servants from death and destruction.

3. It wasn't until the son had turned toward the direction of his Father's house and began making the long and difficult journey home, while leaving his previous life of adultery and sin behind him, that the Father could then see his weary son returning to Him. And "while he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him." (Luke 15:20)

The son, after being motivated by physical hunger and discomfort, began to notice the stark contrast between his desperate situation, and the situation of those who dwelt with and served his Father. He remembered the comfort and security that he had once known. And although he felt he was no longer worthy to be called His son, he desired the blessings and the comfort (and the Food) given to those in the presence of his Father, even if it meant being only his servant.
He was not driven back to his Father by feelings of love for Him, remorse for his sins or the desire to repent. He was motivated by physical discomfort, the fear of starvation, the want of a better life. His motivators were not spiritual... yet.
We also see that it takes effort to return to the presence of our Father in Heaven. Sometimes the further we travel away from Him, determines how long and difficult our returning journey will be. We cannot expect to merely say a prayer and immediately feel his Spirit and acquire his blessings. It is a journey. It is a struggle. And for some it will take longer and it will be harder to return to His presence. But as we approach Him, and at the moment we are within his sight, He will have compassion on us, and He will run to us, and will stay and strengthen us as we wearily walk the rest of our way home.

4. The son humbly sought his Father's forgiveness and his sins were remembered no more. Not once was he scolded, punished, or rejected for his transgressions. But he was celebrated, nourished and welcomed home with loving arms.

It is not until after his long and difficult journey back, and not till seeing his Father's great love for him and how he was welcomed home as a Son and not a servant; it is not until then do we finally see true and deep remorse for his sins as he humbly asks for his Father's forgiveness. "And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son."
There was no anger, resentment, punishment or parental lecture of disappointment from the Father. He welcomed his prodigal son home and instantly forgave him of his sins. The Father withheld nothing from his son and gave him the very best that He had. Even as we repent and return to our Father's presence by serving him and keeping his commandments, He too will withhold nothing from us because of our past transgressions. He will open the windows of Heaven and will rejoice in pouring out his Spirit and Blessings upon his beloved child who was dead and is alive again. "But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found." (Luke 15:22-24)

5.The older son, who was angry because of the great celebration, was not wicked and should not be judged harshly, as it seems he usually is. He was a good and loyal son. He had been faithful in obeying, serving and loving his Father all the days of his life, and had never received any such celebration, recognition, or any of the desirable gifts that were being bestowed upon his younger brother.

I can only imagine what this older son must have felt. I imagine he must have felt hurt, unappreciated and perhaps even unloved by his Father. Why had all his years of service gone unrewarded? Had he been overlooked; his service forgotten? Was it all in vain?
The Father left the celebration and went to find his older son. Upon finding him, He then comforted his son. He tenderly assured him that his faithfulness and service had not gone unnoticed, and that he would receive all that the Father had. "And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine." (Luke 15:30)
There are those who have always loved our Father in Heaven, who have faithfully served Him and tried to keep his commandments through out their lives. And yet sometimes these faithful children do not receive some of the blessings they greatly desire. Their lives might be hard and full of trails. They might wonder if the Lord is truly aware of them, or is their work and service done in vain. Those faithful sons could understandably feel discouraged when unable to see the fruits of their labors. However His promises are great to those who serve and obey Him continually. And He reminds his faithful children that through all of their trials or "famines" of life, He was with them and sustained them, and He will be with them forever.

Through this parable I can begin to understand the nature of our Heavenly Father and the love and mercy that He freely gives to all. This parable not only comforts the repentant sinner, but also the faithful servant. And thus we see the great love that He expresses for all his children through the Scriptures and the words of Christ.